Saturday, March 23, 2013

Transient global amnesia

At first, when I found myself in a strange hospital yesterday, I had no idea why I was there.  I had no idea why my brother and his wife were there, or why Bruce wasn't.  But at first it didn't cross my mind to wonder why.

When they told me I had just been to my Uncle Hank's memorial service, I cried.  I had no recollection of my uncle dying, and I started to grieve all over again.   I had trouble believing that my favorite uncle could be dead.

I also found it hard to fathom that I had caught a plane by myself, and had flown to Winnipeg.  Why would I go to Winnipeg without Bruce?  That is still hard to understand, and I am guessing, it won't happen again.

It wasn't long before I realized that I had just had another incident of transient global amnesia.

Gradually, the recent past began returning to me.  I now remember that my uncle had cancer.  I also remember the beautiful service they held, and all the music that was sung in memory of a man with a clear tenor voice and a wonderful heart of gold.

But the fog is still there.  I vaguely recollect the breakfast we spent together the next day.  I do remember my tiredness, and I do have a foggy recollection of the start of a conversation with my sister-in-law, but then it all goes blank.

The next thing I remember is being in the hospital with my brother and his wife, and being weak and dizzy.  They told me that I had suddenly become confused and couldn't remember why I was there. They say I cried a lot after that, and asked the same questions over and over again.  I even mentioned the words transient global amnesia, so I was, sort of, aware of what was happening to me, but I don't remember any of that.

I'm OK today.  I dread going to the airport by myself to catch the plane early tomorrow morning. I still fear a recurrence, but I won't be alone.  Jesus will be with me and I am so thankful for His presence.

The most likely reason for the amnesia is the tiredness and the death of my uncle, but there is another possibility.

A short time ago I was told I needed to take eye drops to prevent loss of sight from glaucoma.  The first episode of amnesia happened while I was taking them.  When I checked possible side effects, memory loss was one of them.  I quit the eye drops.

I recently saw the eye doctor again.  He threatened me with eventual blindness if I didn't go back on the drops, so I complied and went back on the drops.

Was the recurrence of the amnesia due to the drops?  I don't know.

But God does.  I will wait for His leading, and trust in His care.  

For the next post see:  Training my Eyes
For the previous post see: 50 lbs lighter